Sunday, January 10, 2010

Day 1. Continuation...

So in order to be 'right" in my own head, I am supposed to be making peace with people who have hurt me. People who have really pissed me off. How do I begin?

I guess a lot of the pain began when my parents got a divorce. I was just a small child, but the negative effects seem seem to linger on, and on.... My dad was off to work as a police officer, and my "wonderful" grandmother was at home with my brother ( whom I might add is two years older), and I . How do I describe my grams... She is an old, stubborn woman who drove my mother away. Until meeting my husband, she was as nasty as ever. I know, because she has informed me several times, that my parents made a mistake bringing us into the world. Nice, right? She was always pointing the finger, "Audra did this... and do you know how long your daughter was on the phone with her friends"? She was very emotionally abusive, and I know my brother would atest to this, if he was around, or for that matter in my life. It was always, you aren't good for anything, and you are just a little bitch! My father for as long as I can remember always took my grams side. Must be a mother- son thing.
As far as grandmothers went, I was under the impression they are all loving, caring, and compassionate people. Not with Rose. She was the complete opposite. She hated my very existence. It was so unfortunate. The only way I knew what an awesome grandparent was, was due to Nana. My mother's mother. I miss her so much. Ok, back to the matter at hand. I need to begin to forgive those that hurt me, it might take awhile.

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